The first thing I did when we decided on this theme for our third issue was pick up a book. I was in the midst of a reading drought, which plagues all things inward, and is really a spiritual drought. I was going around for months cracking books looking for the one that would stick. On the shelf in my boyfriend's house was a book I heard about in college but had never gotten to. It was black with Suspiria-red words on the cover, along with a yellow screeching cat: The Master and Margarita. I thought: “this is how I’d like the issue to look”, and asked to borrow it from his roommate Sam.
With no hope of it sticking, I assured him I’d return it soon. Luckily it only takes one page of funny, vivid, atmospheric prose to wake you up like a divine voice from beyond, and so finally I was able to read on. It became my single source of aesthetic and thematic inspiration for this issue, and a grounding force. I slept with it by my bedside, charged it on my window sill during the full moon, you get the idea. Sam, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for never giving it back. I have to buy you a new copy because it got rained on.
The book is a rewarding romp, and I recommend it. It’s about the devil wreaking havoc in Moscow, the absurd cruelty of fascism and censorship, love, oh, and there’s an extravagant satanic ball (the sole inspo for our release party). The story serves as an allegory for life under the rule of Stalin, and as I read, its similarities to the world we live in now became abundantly clear, and the wisdom it offered was vital.
God is absent from this book, but the devil is not. He’s actually a pretty nice guy when he wants to be, representing more of a Jungian shadow than evil incarnate. Almost all lessons offered in this book come from him. At one point he says: “Never ask for anything! Never for anything, especially from those more powerful than you.” At face value, this sounds like “bootstrap mentality”, but in the context of the story, the only power the author can be referring to is the systemic power of fear and corruption. It isn't about the capitalistic virtues of self-sufficiency. It's about knowing that help from a corrupt power isn't help at all.
Systems like these benefit from people believing they are powerless. That we are passive in our own lives. When you give your power up to that system, it defeats the belief within you that you can do it yourself, or reinforces that it’s only worth doing when recognized by power at large. This isn’t true.
As the nights grew longer while we made this issue, I felt comforted by the lights that emerged outside, the lights we put up to illuminate and entertain ourselves in the darkness. During the winter, all illumination comes from us. This is also true for all inner desires that we wish would manifest into the world. Just because it doesn’t exist yet doesn’t mean it can’t exist.
By pure coincidence, all of the artists we interviewed for this issue turned out to have a similar philosophy. Reggie and Michele, our cover stars, started Strapped, a drag party by and for lesbians, just because they wanted to do it. Having no idea if anyone would even show up to the first show, they’ve sold out every one since, making a space where people come and dance and fall in love by first creating a space for themselves. Caesar and Ana of Conjunto Primitvo make music that starts with an image often seen in dreams, and summons it to the material realm with a pulsating drum beat that transforms a room, making reluctant dancers shed their inhibitions and connect with their subconscious. Amy Pearl Lang and Av Grannan both construct alternate worlds with their visual art. Amy by painting worlds of her own creation, that are totally free other than one strict law of physics that she follows like a manifesto. Av by sewing fantastical garments that can change the people of the future’s idea of the past.
All of these artists make work that resists easy description because they aren’t concerned with fitting into a box. They prove the box is the illusion; hope and desire are not. I feel that in Chicago especially, there’s a spirit of encouragement that goes along with creating for creativity's sake. There's a felt belief that you don't need anything other than yourself to be involved. It’s not the powers that be that allow it to happen or make space for it, it’s the people who want it that make it happen.
The magazine in your hands is proof of this, and I thank you for reading it. Thank you to everyone who submitted art and writing, and to all who supported and generously offered to be involved. This magazine carries the fingerprints of everyone who made it and everyone who reads it. It would not exist without you.
Thank you for gabbing with us,
Isabella
